JUST FOR LAUGHS
Quotations from women about women
"The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy."
- Helen Hayes (at 73)
"I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows."
- Janette Barber
"Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone."
- Jan King
"A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling "Hey, come back here with my breast!"
- Linda Ellerbee
"You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman? It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears."
- Geri Jewell
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends."
- Laurie Kuslansky
"Old age ain't no place for sissies."
- Bette Davis
"The phrase "working mother" is redundant."
- Jane Sellman
"Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart."
- Caryn Leschen
"I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once."
- Jennifer Unlimited
"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be horrible warning."
- Catherine Aird
"When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss.And they called ME slow!"
- Kathy Buckley
"I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb and I'm also not blonde."
- Dolly Parton
"You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy."
- Erica Jong
"I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on."
- Roseanne Barr
"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country."
- Elayne Boosler
"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career."
- Gloria Steinem
"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?"
- Linda Ellerbee
JUST FOR LAUGHS PAGE
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